armela Torres was 18 when she became pregnant for the first time. It was 1987 and she and her now-husband, Pablo Hernandez, were two idealistic young Colombians born in the coastal region of Monter\u00eda who moved to the capital, Bogot\u00e1, in search of freedom and a better life. When Torres told her father she was expecting, so angered was he by the thought of his daughter having a child out of wedlock that they didn\u2019t speak to each other for years.<\/p>\n
Torres remained undaunted. Her pregnancy was trouble-free and she had a new life in Bogot\u00e1 to get on with. But one December afternoon, suddenly, out of nowhere, her body began to convulse with sharp contractions. It was more than two months before her due date. She called Hernandez and together they rushed to the Instituto Materno Infantil (Mother and Child Hospital) in eastern Bogot\u00e1. Not long after arriving she gave birth naturally to a baby boy weighing just 1,650 grams (3 lb 10 oz).<\/p>\n
Before she had a chance to hold him, her baby was whisked off to a neonatal intensive care unit. Torres was simply told to get dressed and go home. \u201cI didn\u2019t even get to touch him,\u201d she says. \u201cThey said I could come back and see him but the visiting times were very restricted \u2013 just a couple of hours a day. When I did visit I was allowed to look but not touch.\u201d<\/p>\n
On the third day she was at home preparing for her next visit when the phone rang. \u201cIt was the hospital,\u201d she says. \u201cThey called to say my baby was dead. They didn\u2019t tell me the cause of death or give me any diagnosis. Just that he was dead. I hadn\u2019t even named him yet.\u201d<\/p>\n
Torres was traumatised. She became gripped with an acute feeling of isolation and started spiralling into depression. She knew she needed to do something to pull herself back so she enrolled on a teacher-training programme and immersed herself in her studies. \u201cIt gave me something to focus on,\u201d she says. \u201cIt saved me.\u201d<\/p>\n
A decade passed before Torres was ready to become pregnant again. This time round it was different. By now she was married to Hernandez and well settled in Bogot\u00e1. Her father had even started talking to her again. She was so excited about giving birth that, a couple of months before her due date, she decided to throw a big baby shower. But on the day of the party, familiar, severe contractions ripped through her body, stopping her in her tracks. She smiled, told no one and pretended it wasn\u2019t happening. By evening, once all the guests were gone, she could hide it no longer. She told Hernandez who again rushed her straight to the Instituto Materno Infantil.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen we got there the doctor was furious with me for not coming earlier. He said I was ready to give birth,\u201d says Torres. \u201cI was petrified, I didn\u2019t want another premature baby. I was taken to the exact same ward as where I had my baby which died. Memories came flooding back. I was extremely stressed.\u201d<\/p>\n
At one o\u2019clock the next morning Torres gave birth to another boy. She named him immediately, calling him Julian. He weighed almost the same as her firstborn and just like then, he was whisked straight into intensive care. History, it seemed, was repeating itself.<\/p>\n