Being able to walk and talk\u00a0after his first birthday<\/strong>, your toddler becomes more independent. He will\u00a0rush headlong into exploring and experimenting with his new abilities.\u00a0<\/strong>However, your little scientist is still not capable of thinking comprehensively. Thus it looks as if your baby, once totally dependent and compliant, has become a bit out of control. You might find him frequently testing your limits<\/a>, opposing to your commands and upsetting you. But he is\u00a0not doing it intentionally\u00a0<\/strong>to challenge you. This stage may\u00a0last until he goes to kindergarten.<\/strong>\u00a0At this time, it is most important for you to help your child learn what he can and cannot do.<\/p>\n Positive discipline<\/a> builds on a close parent-child relationship including the mutual understanding and trust<\/a> between you and your child. Positive discipline means using\u00a0constructive\u00a0<\/strong>and\u00a0nonhurtful\u00a0<\/strong>ways to\u00a0promote the development of social behaviours and postive self-concept<\/strong>\u00a0in your child. It involves awareness of your child’s feelings, understanding his developmental needs, recognizing and encouraging his desirable behaviours and setting and keeping sensible limits. It helps you\u00a0deal with your child calmly\u00a0<\/strong>and helps your child grow up to be a cooperative and happy child.<\/p>\n Children are not spoiled by praise. In fact, only those who have received little praise or rewards from adults tend to be easily carried away by praise. They also tend to demand a reward before complying with requests.<\/p>\n Your toddler needs your\u00a0attention and praise<\/strong>\u00a0to build up self confidence in exploring and learning. Children who are frequently praised by their parents on specific desirable behaviours develop\u00a0high self esteem<\/strong>. This eventually makes them\u00a0less dependent\u00a0<\/strong>on approvals and external rewards in order to behave well. They will be more likely to\u00a0see others in a positive light<\/strong>\u00a0too when they grow up.<\/p>\n Your toddler often engages in active exploration but he may not know what he should or should not do. He is not doing it intentionally to challenge you.<\/p>\n Your child needs\u00a0clear and consistent limit setting<\/strong>\u00a0to help him understand the demands from adults. If you allow your child to do whatever he likes with few clear limits, you will find it more difficult to exercise control when he has developed unacceptable behaviour patterns. Helping him\u00a0achieve rule<\/a> following and self control<\/strong>\u00a0by limit setting will make parenting easier and happier.<\/p>\n Your toddler’s ability to think logically and make judgment is still developing. He needs\u00a0your supervision to ensure his safety.\u00a0<\/strong>More importantly, your guidance can help him\u00a0understand what the acceptable and unacceptable behaviours are<\/strong>, and adjust and cope successfully with the demands on him.<\/p>\n Children can be overwhelmed by too many rules and limits. There are times you can encourage your child to develop autonomy and problem solving by allowing him to\u00a0make age-appropriate decisions.<\/strong>\u00a0For example, you may let him explore different ways in play within reasonable limits, or choose his preferred clothes or snacks from choice of a few.<\/p>\n Spanking or threatening may stop your child from misbehaving immediately. However, the\u00a0effect is short-lived.\u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0A toddler’s memory is still short and he may soon forget this unpleasant consequence. He needs to\u00a0learn from you the acceptable way<\/strong>\u00a0to behave, otherwise, he will only repeat the undesirable behaviour. Using\u00a0constructive and nonharmful\u00a0<\/strong>ways of positive discipline will be more effective in teaching your child to behave.<\/p>\n Every toddler is unique. It is possible that your child may need a longer time to understand and follow your discipline. As long as you persevere consistently with positive discipline \u2013 nourishing your child with positive attention and encouragement, and managing him calmly, firmly, and patiently within clear limits \u2013 he will learn to follow social rules, gain self control, and build up self esteem in the course of his development.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Using Positive Discipline<\/h3>\n
Giving Attention and Praise<\/h3>\n
Does praise spoil children?<\/h4>\n
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\n<\/strong>Praise your child whenever you catch her being good. Everyday behaviours that we often take for granted, such as sitting down quietly to play or leaving alone the things she could not touch, are\u00a0positive behaviours<\/strong>\u00a0that\u00a0deserve your attention and praise.<\/strong>\u00a0Your prompt attention to her positive behaviours will increase her chance of repeating them.<\/li>\n\n
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\n<\/strong>Your active toddler demands a lot of your attention and time. Try your best to\u00a0spend some special time<\/strong><\/a>, even though it may be brief, to play and talk with him every day. This ‘quality time’ you enjoy together will\u00a0strengthen your bond<\/strong>\u00a0and\u00a0deepen his trust\u00a0<\/strong>on you, setting the\u00a0basis for effective behaviour management.<\/strong>Sometimes you may be too busy to spare even a brief moment with him. Make sure there are\u00a0activities to engage him<\/strong>\u00a0at such time so that he will have less chance to get into trouble. The activities should be\u00a0interesting<\/strong>\u00a0to him and\u00a0appropriate to his developmental level<\/strong>. Other than toys, empty boxes, containers or durable household utensils can be fun and creative. You may retain the novelty of the activities for your child by\u00a0putting away some of them periodically for rotation.<\/strong>\u00a0Do not forget to encourage him by giving him brief attention and praises, when he looks or walks close to you, while he keeps himself engaged in such activities.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\nSetting Limits and Managing Misbehaviours<\/h3>\n
Is a toddler too young to have rules?<\/h4>\n
Will limit setting make children too dependent?<\/h4>\n
Is spanking or threatening more effective?<\/h4>\n
Steps in Behaviour Management<\/a><\/h3>\n
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